こんにちはー意識低い看護師のはむです
さて、よくSNSとかでこんな文言を見かけたことは無いですか？
「いらないプライドは捨てよう」
ゆるい人生を送ろう系の情報発信者はこのような文言を言いますが、私は偽善だなぁって思いながら見ています
ということで今回は【プライドを捨てようとか思わないで欲しいな】というテーマで記事を書いていきたいと思います
プライドとは
プライドという言葉の意味をコトバンクから引用させていただくと
自分の才能や個性、また、業績などに自信を持ち、他の人によって、自分の優越性・能力が正当に評価されることを求める気持。また、そのために品位ある態度をくずすまいとすること。誇り。自尊心。自負心。矜持。
こんな意味になります
私的にはプライド＝自尊心って覚えておけばいいのかなと思っています
似たような言葉でポリシーやこだわりって言葉と変換する人がいますが、それはちょっと違うと私は思っています
ポリシーとは指針を表す言葉で、自分の外界に向けたもの(外面的)であり、プライドのように自分の内界に向けたもの（内面的）ではありません
こだわりとは、執着を表す言葉であり、これまたプライドとは意味は違ってきますよね
もちろん、これらは作用しあっています
プライドがポリシーやこだわりを生むって認識で良いのではないだろうかと思っています
「プライドを無くそう」と言う人がいる理由
さて、一見大切そうなこのプライドとか言うやつ、なんで「プライドを無くそう」だなんて発信する人がいるのでしょうか
答えは明白で、単純にプライドというものは【傷つきやすいもの】であるからです
そりゃあ、自分が持っている個性や自信を、他者から揺るがされたら傷つきますよね
例えば看護師さんなら、ある程度の年数働いているのにも関わらず、異動先の病棟では全くついていけず、何なら自分よりも若手の看護師にコテンパンにされるといった事象が発生したときには、プライド傷ついちゃいますよね。自尊心やられちゃいますよね。
「そんな傷つきやすくて壊れやすいものを大切にするくらいなら捨ててしまえ。持つ必要のないプライドは捨ててしまえ」
これがプライドを捨てた方が良い論者の主張なんだと思います
またプライドと現実にギャップがある場合は、非常に生きづらい現状を生むことが多いです
看護師さんで例えると、誰よりも良い看護を提供できるという自負があるのに、評価されず周りから出る杭として打たれてしまうと言った事象がそれにあたるのかなとも思います
「プライドが生きづらさを生むので、プライドを捨てよう」というのも主張理由の一つだとも思います
なぜプライドは捨てられないのか
さて前述したとおり、プライドとは壊れやすく、傷つきやすく、時として生きづらさを生むものであったりします
そんな厄介なもん、捨て去った方がいいですよね。持ってるだけ邪魔だと思う人の方がこの現代日本多いんじゃないでしょうか
捨てた方が良いと発信する人が多いのも頷けます
でも、【プライドなんて捨てられない】と私は主張します
捨て去ろうとする行為もどうかと思っています
プライドの高さとは呪いである
プライドっていわば呪いみたいなもんです
切っても切り離せません。勝手に離れていくことはあるかもしれませんが、その時のあなたのメンタルはズタボロとなっていることでしょう
人間、この傷つきやすいプライドとか言うやつと向き合っていかない事には前に進まないなぁって思います
プライド＝自尊心であると前述しましたが、自尊心を意図的に無くそうとするなんて出来ると思えないんですよね
マズローの5段階欲求説(1.生理的欲求 2.安全欲求 3.社会的欲求 4.承認欲求 5.自己実現の欲求)を支持するなれば
自尊心、いわば自己承認欲求を無くした状態で最高次の欲求である自己実現の欲求段階にもたどりつけないですよね
「プライドを無くそう」と言う主張には、自己承認欲求を上げて幸せになろうという意味合いが込められているとは思いますが、マズローが正しいとするなれば、その言葉を鵜吞みにすると真逆の結果が生まれるよなと思っています
逆にプライドを捨てられないことに対し、さらに苦しむ羽目になるのが目に見えるよなぁと思っています
医療の場でも患者さんの自尊心を尊重する対応というものが求められてきますしね
申し訳ないですが私の視点では「プライドを無くそう」だなんて発信する人間は偽善者か詐欺師にしか思えません
プライドと向き合うための3つの案
プライドとか言う傷つきやすく脆い呪いと向き合っていくのは3つの案があるかなぁと私は考えています
- プライドを隠す
- プライドを柔軟にする
- プライドを強固にする
以下に書いていこうかなと思います
プライドを隠す
一つ目の方策としては「他人にプライドを見せないようにする」かなと思います
見せないようにすれば、自分の心の中を攻撃されることは有りませんしね
攻撃されるのは自分のペルソナなので気にしませんと言った方々です
俗に言う「あの人、プライド無いよね」と言われる人たちと同じ立ち振る舞いをすることですかね
他人に自分を侵害させない、ペルソナ（仮面）を被って他者と関りを持つ人って滅茶苦茶多いです。八方美人とも言ったりします
自分のプライドから生み出されるポリシーやこだわりを無くしていくという消極的な方策になると思います。外面的なものはいくらでも取り繕えますしね。器用な人なら。
自分が傷つかないようにいつの間にか立ち振る舞ってしまう受動的な八方美人と、他人に自分を見せないし評価もさせない能動的な八方美人と2種類いると思いますが、ここでは後者が当てはまるのかなとも思います
能動的な八方美人は自分を確立しているので、八方美人と言う生き方に苦悩しないはずです
逆に、受け身的な八方美人は「自分を分かってもらいたい気持ちもある。でも分かられるのは怖い」と八方美人であることに悩み続けることになるのかなぁと思います
八方美人を目指すのなら、ちゃんと自分を確立してからかなって思います
プライドを柔軟にする
プライドが脆く崩れやすいものと言うのなれば、柔軟性のある物にすると言った方策もあると思います
プライドを傷つけられた時、案外人は「プライドが傷つけられた」とは思わないもんです
もし、傷つけられた時に「あー傷つけられたなぁ」って自覚した上で「でも、自分は自分だし、相手に受け入れられなかっただけじゃんね。」と開き直る心構えをする方々の事を言うのかなぁと思います
自分を傷つける相手を受容した上で、自分のプライドと向き合うことで、自分のプライドを保つといった方策です
言葉で言うのは大変ですが、これも実践していくのは大変です
いくら受容したって、何度も傷つけられるうちにプライドに深刻なダメージを負う人もいるでしょうし、よっぽどレジリエンス(自己回復力・弾力)の高さがないとなかなか実践できません
どちらかというと「私あんまりプライド高いわけじゃないしーそれでも幸せだしー」って自覚している人が実践していることが多いように思います
プライドを強固にする
器用でもない、レジリエンスも低いのであれば、もうプライドを強固にするしかないのかなぁと個人的に思います
誰にも傷つけることが出来ない圧倒的な硬さのプライドを持つという方策です
これをするには、プライドに見合う自分になる努力を実践していく必要があります
- 才能を伸ばす
- 個性を磨く
- 実績を作る
- 評価される
- 自分の付加価値をつける
- 自分と言う存在の価値を上げる
こんな感じで、自分の内的な因子であるプライドと外的な因子との間のギャップを埋めるといういばらの道を歩むことで、プライドの高さに悩むことは無くなるのかなと思います
圧倒的自信を持てば、他者からプライドを傷つけられることは無くなるのかなと思います
んでも、この生き方を実践しようとして諦める人滅茶苦茶多いですよね
「そこまでしてプライドを守らなければいけないのか」と挫折していく人は多いと思います
でも、そこでプライドを捨てようとして、捨てれず苦しむ人も多いのかなとも思います
だから結局プライドの高い人は、自分を保つために、努力をし続けるしかないって私は思ってしまいます
まとめ
ね？プライドの高さって呪いだと思いませんか？
どの方策もろくでもない方策ばかりで、私もつい逃げ出してしまいたくなります
私もプライドを捨て去ろうと必死こいてたこともありました
でも、結局捨て去れず、こんな書くのに時間のかかるブログなんてものを書いているわけです
プライドの高さに悩む人、私も喘ぎ苦しんでいるところなので、一緒に頑張ってみませんか？
では！
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